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Yes: I need to spend the rest of this week having a full-blown panic attack about Saturday’s Wisconsin vs. Ohio State Big Ten championship—in my nightmares, Urban Meyer is sitting in my kitchen in a Buckeyes windbreaker, cackling, eating all of my Trader Joe’s animal crackers.

But before my sweaty Badger anxiety kicks in, let’s address a handful of NFL topics. (The NFL is the pro-style football league that plays on Sundays, Mondays and, I believe, most Thursdays.)