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Alexandra Fuller
“I was raised with a very colonial, shallow understanding of charm, this fragile set of rules that usually emphasized language. My mother might remark that someone had charming manners, but what she really meant was that they knew the rules to get into ‘the club.’ The irony is that I was surrounded by violence, lots of neglect, bouts of alcoholism—just really bad behavior—yet as long as you knew never to say to someone, ‘Would you like another drink?’ but rather ‘How about the other half?’ my mother would approve of your charming manners. Real charm is about authenticity. The most charming people…