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By now, you’ve surely heard that the football Raiders are abandoning their original home of Oakland for the desert of Las Vegas, and what appears to be a beautiful, state-of-the-art onyx bidet. In some ways, this is a familiar story: Vegas offered a new stadium financed with a gargantuan wad of public money ($750 million) and Oakland did not, and so the black and silver, who once did a 13-season sabbatical in Los Angeles, are on the prowl again. The cash ruled, which is how it goes in the NFL.

Still, this Raider move…